Growing Up Trans in Arkansas: Friends Film, a Story of Hope

Meet Ali, Transgender teen.

From the beginning of her video it quickly became obvious to me Ali and I have a lot more in common than just both being trans, despite our age differences. Ali's furtive glances tell some things haven't changed in the forty years since I grew up in rural America.



Ali and Joesph, a gay High School student both live in rural deep south America. Both have bravely come out and are raising funds for a movie called Friend Film , two unique stories of growing up in small town America. This being a transgender blog I wanted to focus on Ali and was graciously granted this interview by her.

When I and my contemporaries were youth it was long before the Internet. I had heard of a story of a far off Oz like land where a "man had become a woman" but to even consider myself as special, would have been thought ridiculous not just by my family who called me a fag, but to myself. I had came to believe what I was hearing all those years, that I was of little value. Ali's story and those of us who grew up decades before are amazingly similar.

Kelli: Ali, you grew up in the Internet age. Where you allowed to visit trans friendly web sites? If so what was it like living fully aware of your gender yet being denied your right to express it?

Ali: "Well, honestly, I never really got on the Internet much growing up. When I did, it was playing computer games. I didn't start getting on the Internet until I was in 9th grade. And even then I didn't really go to trans friendly websites because I wasn't really aware of them."

"To answer the second part of this question, it was very frustrating and depressing. I went through major depression because I couldn't freely be myself. Here I was knowing who I was but I could not show it much outside of home. Sometimes not even at home."

Kelli: Did you have friends who knew and accepted you for your true self?

Ali: "I had a best friend that I grew up with that knew and accepted me. Most of the friends I’ve made since them don’t know. Before They just assume that I’m gay. Currently I have several friends now who know and love and support and accept me."

Kelli: Have you been able to talk to your parents about being trans and if so at what age? What were their reactions?

Ali: "Since the age of 3 I've been calling myself a girl, so my family already knew something was up. I didn’t know what was going on with me, I just knew I was a girl.

After we discovered that I’m trans, my nana became my biggest supporter. My mom struggled with it a lot but is doing a lot
better now.

Kelli: You mentioned you had been called pejoratives because you were forced to present as male growing up. We have that in common as well. Words can hurt. It’s probably one of the toughest parts of being trans. I know it was frustrating for you, so how you did to endure the taunts?

Ali: "I’m not a fighter, I’m a very quiet and shy person. So when someone would call me derogatory names, I would just sit there and try to ignore it as best I could. I never lashed out at them in fear they would hit me.

Sometimes I would just go cry in my room when I got home. I would also talk to my mom, nana, and friends about it but my friends would say “well, that’s the price you have to pay for being trans” and my mom and nana would help me feel better as best they could."

Kelli: Being from Texas I used to do business in Arkansas and found it in comparison to north Texas, medieval in their views towards LGBT people. Do you have any plans on returning to Arkansas when you graduate College? If you do please be careful.

Ali: "In college, I’m currently studying theater and psychology. When I graduate, I plan to move to a more trans friendly and theater oriented place. I’m still trying to get out of Arkansas. I’d love to transfer. I only plan to come back to Arkansas to visit some of my family, but nothing permanent. I’m still trying to get out of Arkansas."

Kelli: What are your thoughts on our efforts to be removed from the DSM?

Ali: "Even though there are benefits, such as therapy, for trans people being in the DSM, I am glad that there are efforts being put forth to get trans people removed from it. Being trans is not a disorder. You are born with it. You can’t get “fixed” by medication. It’s just not possible."

Kelli: Ali, you are a young advocate and trans youth will be able to identify with you. What would you like to say to those younger trans youth still living in the closet?

Ali: "First I would like to say, Be who YOU are, not who you’re told to be. With that being said, be yourself. Coming out is your own choice. Don’t let anyone make the decision for you. If you do come decide to come out, please be careful because not everyone is supportive and accepting.

Also, if you do decide to come out, know that I’m supporting you."

Thank you Ali for all you are and will do. You already are a great success.

We can help give Ali and Joesph with moral and monetary support they so deserve. They need to be fully funded by November 8th. Please give generously to Friend Film

Anako Installs Bigot on Anti Bullying Task Force and Rejects LGBT Group

Anoka School District puts bigot Bryan Lindquist onto anti bullying committee and local anti bullying Group is denied their application to March In the Halloween Parade.

Source: Huffington Post    Bryan Lindquist is a member of The Parents Action League, a local group that civil rights organization The Southern Poverty Law Center has designated a hate group  that attacks homosexuality. He was recently named to sit on the district's 25-member anti-bullying task force composed of students, school employees and community members, and mothers Tammy Aaberg and Melissa Thompson are outraged.

"That would be like asking somebody from the [Ku Klux] Klan to sit on the committee that plans black history month," Thompson told KSTP.

Tammy has a right to be so upset. Her gay son just committed suicide on account of bullying and founded justins gift  ,to address the same sort of bullying Bryan Lindquist encourages with his anti LGBT rhetoric.

Rebecca Krone, a mom from Anoka started a petition on Change.org demanding that the kids from Justin's Gift be allowed to march in the town's Halloween parade. Click here to add your name.

Justin's Gift on Twitter

East Aurora schools May Bow to Hate Group And Vote Tonight To Rescind Trans Policy

Update: A sad day in Aurora as the trans policy is revoked.
Full story on CBSlocal

The possible win for a hate group is a failure for Illinois human rights groups to organise effectively.

The rational given for rescinding the trans policy was since there were only a couple trans people in the School district and they had not received any complaints from them, the school board felt the policy would be unnecessary.

The reality is they were intimidated by the hate group the Illinois Family Institute's  email campaign which not only demands a repeal of the policy but in addition the firing of the School Board as well.

You can attend the meeting tonight at East Aurora School Service Center located at 417 Fifth Street in Aurora and will be Friday, Oct. 19 at 5:30 p.m.

Boy Scouts Of America Dishonored: Sexual Predator File Posted Here

"Oh You belong to the Boy Scouts? Scouting boys tonight?

It was a common joke used by neighborhood girls when they wanted to embarrass, humiliate or intimidate us on our scout meeting days.

I always dismissed them as I did all bullies as being needy and insecure idiots but in my heart I knew there were some truth to the taunt. I knew even before puberty that I was more comfortable with same sex company. Was I somehow impure?

The Boy Scouts thought so kicking out anyone LGBT  who dared to live authentically and they called us immoral?

But there were Scout leaders who made me very uncomfortable. I could never quite make sense of them. They seem such loners, detached, yet so dedicated on our long weekend camping trips always maintaining the highest Scouting traditions.

Now it is starting to make sense. I would never accuse any of my troop leaders of any wrongdoing however  Kelly Clark Attorney at Law did and has published the file the Boy Scouts, clergy and police have fought so hard to keep secret.

Is your former Scout leader listed as well in the "Perversion Files"? The file only covers twenty years. Its the tip of the iceberg.

But in my heart of hearts I know my life has benefited immensely by my Boyscout days because I have done my best to live it as a Bisexual Transsexual Life Boy Scout.

Just yesterday as I recall now, I corrected the Walmart Pharmacists clerk when she forgot to charge me for my hormone scripts and while walking out I offered my assistance to a elderly man in a wheelchair who seemed disorientated at the foyer. Its because of the following creed I am at peace with myself:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

To my brothers and sisters who have been hurt by these monsters, my heart goes out to you dear soul. Live in shame no more.

Meteor Drag Queen Performer Paul Ryder: The Transphobia YOU spread HAS tried to Kill Me

Shame on you Paul Ryder for your role in this advertisment.



Following the Twitter Hashtag  #MeteorShame  begun by the Transgender Network of Ireland  to kick start the campaign to end the awful Meteor advertisment  I found a very verbal opponent of the ad Co-chair LabourLGBT Louise Hannon. Her opposition was also noticed by one of the drag queens in the advertisement, Paul Ryder who replied to Louise with this tweet:

However Ryder isn't at all aware or could care about the harm he is causing. Looking at his Facebook it's obvious he couldn't care less.

Ryder let me help you to understand. Louise is not the only one becoming aware of the harmful contribution to the trans community. So regardless of your personal concerns, you should be aware you are doing your reputation and your marketability great damage by not taking responsibility for your role in the Meteor Advertisement.

You could make this right by saying you are sorry for the harm you are causing and contacting the other Drag artists in that ad and ask them to come forward with a public apology for there role as well.

Anything less is good as signing a employers dismissal notice to a trans person, or telling a cop to harass us or loading a gun for the next murderer.

Some reactions since posting this article:

A tweet posted by a follower of Paul Ryder in a conversation about what should happen to me. It's the most violent reaction to date for my audaciousness confronting a man for his transmysiogony.

It occurred to me some what belatedly, that the teeth that Mr O Reilly threatened to kick in were in fact not my teeth at all. The picture he saw was taken by a professional photographer for a local newspaper. He did a nice job photoshoping my teeth. See, I hadn't had dental insurance for decades before that picture.
Mr. O Reilly, I'm sure that the photographer would be very accommodating if you'd like to kick in his camera lens or have a go at his computer.
But he was a very big man Mr O Reilly, and a Texan to boot.

And this beauty from NG Blog. SOME men hate it that a transgender woman would have a media platform and would dare use it to demand accoutablity from them for transphobia.

  SOME many gay men.

You can find that NG post here. I have had a long association with that blogger Nelson G. Oddly enough begining with his helping me get my blog back after being violated for confronting gay misogony in 2008.  I posted about the timing of Congressman Barney Franks use of the transphobic phrase "men with penises in the womans room"  when talking about Trans Rights and the publication revealing his boy friend for the past decade was in fact a rent boy .

Related posts:

Transgender Equality Network Ireland Press Release

Irish Times Meteor Dials Up Trouble

Gay Community News

Galick News "Meteoric Mistake"

Memphis Approves Sexual Orientation and Gender ID Protections

As expected Memphis passed the amendment to it's cities employees non discrimination policy to include sexual orientation but totally unexpected was the reinsertion of gender ID including trans people as well!

The Amendment originally included trans protections.

Upon learning that the amendment had been rewritten to exclude transsexuals behind closed doors  at the last moment before the vote I began a petition asking Memphis to protect Trans people. Four hundred people signed sending a email message each time to every council member. I will close that petition now and thank the Council for there vote.

To all those of us who signed the petition, we can only speculate as to what effect our effort had but since we were the only petition to address trans exclusion specifically, and mainstream media  made absolutely no mention of our being written out, I can assure you, we helped.

My friend and great ally Rafael McDonnell, Communications and Advocacy Manager  Dallas Resource Center (RCD)  posted this on my facebook profile:

"From an activist friend of mine in Memphis: Memphis City Council passes non-discrimination ordinance and resolution prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity!(though the title is wrong)"

From the Commercial Appeal "Memphis approves protections against discrimination for sexual orientation":

The Memphis City Council on Tuesday approved a nondiscrimination ordinance that includes workplace protections for sexual orientation and gender identity, ending a debate that began in 2010.

"City of Memphis employees will go to bed tonight and wake up in the morning to hear the news that their hard work will be respected and their ability to contribute to their community will be preserved," said Jonathan Cole, vice president of the Tennessee Equality Project, one of the backers of the legislation. "It's a new day in Memphis, Tennessee."
There's at least one more person I must mention. Thank you Jonathan Cole, I know our brief relationship was contentious at times but given the situation I think we did a good job to keep everything in perspective. Thank you for your patience.

And I thank the following Memphis City Council Members for voting yes to protect your city's trans and gay employees: Council members Flinn, Harris, Harold Collins, Edmund Ford Jr., Janis Fullilove, Wanda Halbert, Reid Hedgepeth, Myron Lowery and Jim Strickland.

Council members Bill Boyd, Joe Brown, Bill Morrison and Kemp Conrad you all vote against it. I have faith as your city's trans people become empowered by your new ordinance and begin living authentically you will get to know who they truly are and will ask yourself why you hadn't voted for this measure in the first place.

Thank you Memphis City Council for doing the right thing.